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Just took a gander at your ALA read. While your pitch range was kept tight, I think you could’ve stretched it a little more while still keeping a serious tone. You always want to keep your potential audience engaged. Also, there’s a couple spots where your mic caught your intake of breath.

For comparison, I also listened to your Arby’s read. Perhaps it’s because my initial acting “training” came from mimicking Tim Curry’s performances, but I think you really should work on getting comfortable with a broader pitch range when you record. There’s only a subtle difference in overall tone between the two, which may be what you were going for, but I would think a more obvious difference between commercials would demonstrate a better range of usefulness to a potential client.