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Great job! I guess it would depend on what kind of read you were going for, but your read as-is has a more subdued energy, which I might expect out of the informational kiosks at some museums. Definitely not a bad thing, but of course just to be aware. Your voice has a very nice texture

On the tech side, there’s a few clicks but largely negligable. Overall it sounds like you’re using good mic technique. I will say I can hear a background hum or other steady sound in the background while you’re speaking (I’m assuming you used a noisegate for in-between words) . Obviously I don’t know your situation, but if you are looking to use that booth for your demo then you should ask your coach about it (the noise). It’s not distracting that much, but more keen employeers might pick-up on it.

Fantastic start for a first attempt. I wish my first attempt was as good off, haha.