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#77893
LindsayCampbell
Participant

HI RGK3! I like both of these reads. The pacing was good, but I think in both cases lacked a “real” feel. It sounded like you were reading.

I almost missed the joke about the canary in Purina. I think you could have played with that a bit more.

In the Advil read, there were several points of an unnatural stop, some with a lip smack. For example, you can hear it after the first 2 times you say Advil, and after study. The last sentence ended with I think wasn’t quite the right intonation. Your pitch rising a little bit, not quite to the point of it sounding like a question, but enough where it sounded like you might doubt what you’re saying.

Hope this helps!