[Grace17]

Hi Dillon,
I think a playful attitude is great for the discovery kids read, slowing down a bit would help the audience process what you’re saying. This is a descriptive read that I think is meant to paint a picture in the listener’s mind of what animal this could possibly be, with the adjectives “big”, “stinky” and words “see” and “dark.” So I would suggest placing more value on/hitting those words. The degree to which you hit those descriptive and valuable words is up to you. I think painting a fun picture in your mind of what you’re saying would help you hit the words without overemphasizing them. You elongated “discovery kids” at the end which sounds great to me.

In the breast cancer read, you sound a little emotionally removed so try talking to or thinking of someone specifically and connecting to the essence of what you’re saying. The pacing is good though! Getting closer to the mic for the breast cancer read is a nice choice, for a more intimate read. I noticed you overstated the “t” in “breast” and “fight”, so watch out for over-enunciating. I also suggest getting more purposeful about what words to hit, otherwise you miss the opportunity to hit some very valuable words and be the most effective. Though breast cancer is a serious topic, try experimenting with a more conversational read, instead of a more professional and removed read. I think being more conversational will match with the intimacy created by being closer to the mic.

If you’re not already, consider doing tongue twisters while holding a pencil between your teeth to improve articulation. Just a little bit of that can make a big difference.