I think Gill gave you some great advice. I heard the same things she was talking about in both narrations. You’re pauses are long in places and it does create some confusion… it’s like is she done, oh nope… not done there’s more. Also, there were a few times you pronounced “the” more like “duh” your th sound is coming out like a d in a few places.
One last little note… can you turn up the gain on your microphone? Your recordings were very quiet and whenever a listener turns up the volume they’re going to hear a little extra noise.
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