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Hm…I do feel like I’m still hearing some of the pauses you mentioned – however, my main observation is that it feels you keep on giving the lines the same cadence, like you start out the line with a medium tone and then take it higher by the end. It’s one thing to do that for a line in general, but when you keep doing it it becomes noticeable.

I will say the second recording sounded much better than the first, however.