First of all, I like what I hear regarding the tone of your voice and your diction.
Regarding the Ottos piece the one thing I might suggest is that with the initial part you might dig into the frustration a little bit so it contrasts more with the satisfaction you feel after the experience of working with Ottos.
My thoughts about Lenders is similar, in that I would like to hear a little more NY attitude/confidence when you say that as a NY’er you know about bagels.
I hope this helps. I didn’t hear major problems at all.
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