Reply To: Feedback Forum
Hi Devon, good work!
Misfits: There seemed to be a lot of unnecessary pauses in this one in the first sentence, which made it a little choppy sounding and less conversational. The last “misfitsmarket.com” seemed to get low and trailed off, to emphasize the brand in a more positive light, I would bring up the tone more. Also “for everyone!” sounded like “fer”. I do this too and it is a hard habit to break as part of my natural accent. Per my coach, I will write in “4” instead of “for” to tell my brain to not to skip over it with a “fer”.
Allstate: This was nice, but you might try it with more smile in your voice, which will sound warmer and more reassuring to the listener.
Starbucks: Nice smile in your voice. I liked the variation of tone your use in the list “and while your morning might look like this. Or this. Or even this.” I liked this one the best for you. Keep it up!
Mary
