Reply To: Feedback Forum

Brandon Bell

Hi CatGirlMSU, I have some feedback on your “A-Haunting Tale” read. In your About Horror read, your tone is very educational and informative, like a historical eBook. It works there! I think you’ve carried that tone over to your Haunting Tale read which makes it seem like you’re a school teacher educating us about evil—instead of a haunting show or sinister narration, like a Halloween X-files opening.

You could add a lingering whisper with each of your pauses. Add heavier breaths on core words like “REAL evil” “DARKEST shadows” “things we FEAR” “NIGHTMARES…” Slow down the pace in the second half, “there are doors. When they are opened…nightmares”, leave room for suspense after each line. You zip through them quickly like a single sentence. Maybe try them as separate. As you read “there are doors…”, imagine the sound & image of a glowing red door creaking open along with a whispery pause—to help feel suspense before then next line. As an example.

Check out this piece from haunting actor Vincent Prince:

A Haunting title

A Haunting Title
In this world, there is real evil.
In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places.
These are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable, Between the world we see, and the things we fear.
There are doors.
When they are opened.
Nightmares become reality.