[nettipo1]

Hi Bill, I also liked your tone and delivery. It’s very good already, but my main observation is that it could be even more conversational, starting with the first sentence. Since it’s a significant question, one that will require the listener to self-reflect, you may want to deliver this script with more “directness,” certainty, and intimacy, to an individual listener. Right now it kind of feels like it’s being spoken to a general audience. Perhaps think of yourself as the person’s inner conscience, and see if that changes the emotional quality of your read. You’re already at a good level, so this is just a minor adjustment.