Edge Studio has been making spoken word fabulous, for over 30 years! It’s done via voice coaching and voice over recording, in 50+ languages. We also donate to numerous nonprofits and politicians who we support.
Your relaxed yet upbeat take on these reads was delightful. I love the words you hit and the tempo was not rushed at all. I will say this though, the tone came off as more an announcer-style and commercials are supposed to be conversational. I also think you missed the spirit of the scripts too. If you apply the spirit of the script, that will help you pull off a more convincing tone.
To find the spirit, just imagine where you would be when speaking this script to another person and what sort of feelings you’d have in that situation. (e.g. The Pizza commercial, you’re walking into the place feeling hungry or sharing the new pizza joint with friends. That would instill an excited or anticipating tone.)