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#69200
mkell755
Participant

Hi Ed, you are welcome for the feedback. Good job on the second take! I could tell you slowed it down some in the first half, but then it sped up again a little on the last sentence. The pauses were good, it makes it interesting to listen to, like what’s coming next? Give the listener a little time to hang on your last words. “slow, deliberate fashion” could be even further stretched out and emphasized. Unlike the US Postal Service script (people want their mail delivered really fast!) you are describing a process by which whiskey is made, and so people will assume that taking a long time to cure the whiskey is a good thing, like it indicates quality. I noticed that both of your recordings were 26 seconds long, you might even try it with the goal of having the recording last 30 seconds, which is a typical commercial script length. I too speak too fast sometimes, like I need to deliver the message and be efficient, so this is not uncommon to have to work on the speed of a particular script. Thanks for trying again! Mary