[JustJohn]

Both reads feel a little rushed, especially the second one. I think you might want to subtract some of the pauses you make (“friends and family” in the first reading, for example, doesn’t really require a pause). Varying inflection a bit more could be useful — “A pay raise?” and “your dream house?” for instance, are using the exact same inflection twice in a row, which makes it sound less like you’re talking conversationally and more like you’re reading a to-do list. The second read sounds particularly choppy. Again, smoothing out some of those pauses could help. You’re treating some commas almost like periods. (For example, “About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born” sounds almost like four unrelated statements right now.) “Thinning, cooling, and clumping” could use more variety of pitch and inflection, in order to sound like you’re genuinely interested in the text and really trying to convey an idea to the listener. “…the gas and dust that would become nine planets” could also be smoother. In general, the second read would benefit from a bit more relaxed approached. The fundamentals are there. Now, it’s just a question of sounding a little more natural about it, as though you’re speaking your own thoughts.