[mvacc]

Tommy John Underwear: Good read! I like how the “here’s the rub” part sounds like you’re telling a secret. My advice is to try adding a little more emotion/excitement to the beginning when you’re announcing the arrival of the underwear – it could show a nice contrast between the arrival “announcement” and the “secret.”

Signet Jewelers: Nice tone and pacing! My one comment would be that “best friend” in “being in love with your best friend” seems a little fast. Since “best friend” comes up again at the end, a little more focus on it when it’s first mentioned could add more importance.