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#67179
AvatarMarkosKandilis
Participant

What a warm voice you have! Great for inviting people to listen and learn about crystals and the like. A few points you may find useful to consider could be:

  • In the first sentence, spend less time on “is” to reduce emphasizing it; what word deserves more time in that sentence instead?
  • In the second sentence, perhaps you can add some varied weighting to the names of the ancient civilization to reinforce the wonder of how such distanced peoples all came to the same conclusion to use crystals in some way
  • In the second sentence, “believing” sounds like it’s the start of a new thought; any way to realign it with the rest of the previously listed items?

Hope this helps, and thanks for sharing!