[JustJohn]

There’s a lot of good stuff here. You’ve got a good tone going for this script. I wonder if you might just slow it all down a little. Some parts are read so quickly (particularly in the second reading), your articulation seems to suffer a bit as a result. The opposite side of that coin is that it sometimes sounds like you’re paying so much attention to articulation that some of the flow is sacrificed (e.g., “supplemented by exercises and games”). I hear a couple cadences that are so similar that the “shape” of the read gets a little repetitive — for example, “where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger” in the first reading — it sounds a little like you’re repeating the same musical phrase several times. I wonder if “life, love, work” could be varied just a little more. In general, your tone is very engaging and naturally conversational, and the read is pleasant to listen to. Good work!