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#66931
Avataracbattag
Participant

I love that we have one of the same reads and I’ll be interested in the contrasting feedback we will get!
Read 1: You started out great – I felt like you were pulling me into a full-on story as opposed to a commercial. I felt like you lost that about mid-way through and got a bit into a rhythm in your read. I would recommend changing up the pace a bit so it felt like you were telling a story to your best friend instead of reading a story to an audience. Very clear and easy to listen to though – great voice.
Read 2: Again you started out great! I think you got a bit into the iambic pentameter about halfway through and were a bit too rhythmic even as this was poetry. I really think this could be a great one for you though and would try to focus on maintaining your purpose throughout the read.
Read3: This is our same read! Love how your first part starts off and specifically as you read the wet-dry vac line, through “you could”. I could see your audience and know your purpose. My biggest recommendation is to work on not throwing away the end. Home Depot and Rigid are both your clients here and you’ll want to carry them through to the end of the read. I have this same problem and often have to re-record the last lines a few times until I don’t through them away.

Great work! Best of luck!
Amber