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#66790
tomnunestomnunes
Participant

Such beautiful words, and I certainly hear your heart in the reading of them. Very nice. One thing to pay attention to is a repeated rhythm and melody you slip into on the end of many lines. Listen to “without closure”, “a sharp change”, “sees gray”, “to be told”, and “to move forward”. They all have almost the same notes and downward melody. I think if you spend more time considering who you are talking to, and what you want that person to understand, or feel, then you will break out of this repeated melody and make it sound more authentic. Thanks for sharing this. It is beautiful.