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Hello everyone! I am working on narration script homework. Could you provide specific feedback on the script below? Does my read sound conversational, does the script match my voice? how is my diction. Thank you for your time.

It’s a mesmerizing sight: Thousands of birds move in unison through the evening sky, whirling and swooping as if performing a highly synchronized ballet. When they finally descend to their treetop roost, the beating of their iridescent wings creates such a rush of sound that the noise earned the phenomenon its unusual name: a murmuration of starlings.

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