Reply To: Feedback Forum
Vocalizing groupings of items is an art form in itself.
And this script has lots of lists, even some that are nested.
Teach you the cure for writer’s block
the recipe for lobster ravioli
How to lead a company
train your dog
pick a paint color
a perfect song
a new career
Using pitch, inflection, and pacing can make the group members more obvious.
I say all that to say that in at least one place, an element is separated from the
rest of its list. ‘Pick a paint color’ seems to be haning on its own, leaving
‘a perfect song’ with no linkage or context. Were you to transition into ‘a perfect
song’ the way you transition into ‘a new career’, the entire group comes together
under the group ‘pick’.
Full disclosure: I am not a director. But a good one would help you understand
how to use pitch and pacing and tempo to make these kinds of lists of lists
coherent and engaging at the same time. (OMT, be mindful of your P’s…!)
You have an absolutely wonderful, clear, articulate voice. And I look forward
very much to hearing more from you.