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Nice copy, Jbach! I second everything Brian has said here, and I would add that I understand the challenge of typing out copy that you hear directly from a commercial. I’m not sure if that’s how you had gotten this copy, but whenever I find copy this way I notice that I add ellipses and punctuation marks based on what the VO Actor has done and then at risk of it being a direct copy I try and go back and write in as complete a sentence as possible to take their emotional read and their choices back out of it. Again, not sure if this applies to you but if so I hear ya and maybe that will help!