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Welcome aboard Ryan. You have a great voice and the tempo you read at was very well-paced. However, I’m not so sure about the words you were hitting and the tone for both of your reads sounds like you’re either reading off a page or just not that interested in the product your selling… When reading a script, imagine you are speaking to the audience face-to-face, or pretend someone’s in front of you and the script is your actual speech. One the most important hurdles a Voice Actor has to overcome is not sounding like a reader. VO is primarily conversational. Hope this helps.