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Mitch, first off thanks for the critique on my tomorrow read. I think I edited it out too much with without leaving some thoughtful pauses but anyway to your work! If I were you coach I would say I’d like you to connect more to the script as in telling someone about the garden center and then sarcastically mentioning the compost which is a turn in the script and would help finish it. The cancer read you probably just need to get more sympathetic you’re talking about a deadly cancer and begging someone to get screened for it right? Keep it up and thanks for sharing your work!
Oh and by the way I’ll try to put up something to shoot an example of a PSA the cancer read you did.