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There are a lot of good things in this read. Great voice, great studio sound, your words are clear and the delivery was smooth with no undue pauses (except maybe before “deep inside the mountain”) As for you tone, you certainly sounded interested to me. I think what you need to work toward how to make you choices (word emphasis, etc) sound more organic, natural. It’s at risk of coming across forced and artificial. I’m not an expert in documentary, but I just happened to be listening to a narration by Peter Coyote today. He has a very smooth and even delivery to his narration. It’s a couple of notches above monotone but so engaging and draws you in. I’d checked out some of his narrations. Keep at this until the language and way of speaking feels second nature to you. If you love the genre, I think you can be great at this.