Reply To: Feedback Forum
Hi, Ed. Nice reads.
On the first, I think your easy-going sound is great for this. I like where it’s going. I would keep working more on envisioning the scene and painting the picture. Do you have an image in mind for “That look.” and what that look does to you? A pronunciation note: VRBO is pronounced “verbo”. (I learned this listening to some commercials on YouTube.)
In the second read, I like the sound of compassion without overdoing the pathos. That said, I feel you can add a bit more pathos to “you can give back to these heroes who gave up so much for you”. It’s a careful balance. You don’t want to lay a guilt trip, but you want us to feel they have earned this. Watch the pauses. I think phrases can be better connected. Ex: “by providing them / with mortgage-free homes” A pronunciation note: you said “Tunnel to Towers” at the start but “Tunnels to Towers” at the end.
Audio sounded good to me. I didn’t pick up any room noise.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by tomnunes.