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Your voice and enunciation are well performed. Although, I think your tone is sarcastic and that doesn’t fit this script in my opinion. Also, you sound as if you’re trying to excite an auditorium of children and I’m not sure that’s the target audience. Also, I can tell you recorded the script at different intervals and that makes it sound choppy, you should make sure the script flows. Keep up the good work, I think you’re on the right track.