[dkosoy]

Hi Mary. This is a big improvement! The energy level and variation in tone displayed at “right into the dough” is great. The “Dominos” is way better too. You could probably use even more tone variation in other parts of the segment. On the recording, listening very carefully, there’s an unwanted click at the very beginning, something again between “with” and “Romano”, and again just at the start of the “a” at “get a large”. Not sure whether it’s mouth noises or background interference. Finally, I think there should be a small pause between “large” and “one topping”. Hope this helps.