[Bill Anciaux]

Not having your other pieces as points of comparison, I think you’ve got a contender with this one. Love the tone and think you do come across as a young professional. Consider who she is talking to in this situation and the balance of youthful/girly and serious/professional would change a bit. For example, is she having a water cooler chat with a young man who was hired recently and whom she doesn’t know well OR is she chatting with her mom (or best friend) over coffee and trying to show her how independent/grown up she is becoming. Might be good practice to try each and compare. Anyway, I like your performance here in and of itself. Thanks for sharing. Bill A.