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Thanks for sharing your read! I really like your energy during the read! I can tell you are smiling and really want to help people understand why the right food is important. A couple of things I noticed. You have essentially the same tone throughout your read. I’d look for a little tone variety as you are reading through it. I’d also working on speeding it up a little bit. I think the pace is just a little bit slow and could use a bit of a boost. Finally, as you are reading your list “play, dance, run…” try hitting a bit more variety in the list so it doesn’t sound like you are reading the list. (I got the same feedback yesterday too!).
Hope this helps a bit!