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Thanks for the feedback Beckolin! You are welcome for the feedback on your poem, it was really well done!
Good to hear that it sounded casual and conversational. I feel like this would be the approach I would take to get a friend more interested in trying to read music, by intentionally varying my tone to keep it casual and not formal. I have been told that I have a tendency to “up-talk” which is raising the tone like a question at the end of a sentence, so I need to continue to work on that. I see how I sped up “little black dots” to be too fast; should have slowed down a bit there to match the rest of the pace, good catch. Very helpful, thanks for the comments!
Mary