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#60454
Avatarfairlyfamous
Participant

Hi Robert! You have a great, unique voice and this was a very good read. I second Mary with the speeding up of the “fine details” portion of the commercial. My only other suggestion is to give more emphasis to the “legendary” in the first line because you’re setting up this big deal of a car and while the sentence flows nicely, I think punching up the delivery to show your awe/amazement would be something to play with. Also, I think Silverado may pack a bigger punch if you played with going down at the end of the word instead of up in pitch. I hope this is helpful! Well done! This is me actively trying to give you stuff because it really is a good read. Tina