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Very nice work with your sound effects and read! Overall I think this suits you very nicely. Be conscious of your inflection on the ends of your sentences going up like a question mark, for a few examples these lines ended with an inflection going up like a question:
“In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there?”
“Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below?”
“And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name?”
I think you did really well on this, nice work! 🙂 You should send it to all the kids you know for Christmas!
