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#59807
AvatarAmitofu
Participant

Overall I don’t have any fundamental criticisms or flaws to point out. You did great.

In terms of pacing, I would of read the first sentence a little more quickly. It’s a brief instructional script though so it’s pretty subjective. The other thing I picked up on was “Find the seam of the carton, and peel away.” – I personally would shorten the gap between “carton” and “and” so that it’s one swift sentence (because the real final direction is in the next sentence “Press together slightly”)

Other than that, I’m not sure the volume is at the correct level. Sounds a little soft by comparison to the other’s on this page. (could be on my end though)

-Alex