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#59787
AvatarAmitofu
Participant

Sounds good. Three things I noticed to improve on:

The first line – “You sent a message to Washington” the inflection you used sounds a little like a mix of a question and a statement, which a little-bit undermined the confident tone of the rest of the read.

Secondly, I would consider using dramatic pauses a little more judiciously. The whole read is of course dramatic, but oversaturated with pauses, every pause can feel like an opportunity for the audience to stop listening/caring. If I had to single a pause out, eg; “(who) led the US to the brink of default [ ] have a new bad idea”. As odd as it sounds to say, the fluidity of that read is more important than giving extra time to underline the bad things they’ve done (ofc strictly in terms of VO, haha).

Thirdly, at around 0:28 – “Help” has a noticeable plosive. I didn’t really comb the rest for similar fumbles, but just thought I’d point it out.

Good read, but especially for a demo, you want it to be basically flawless.