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#58143
mkell755mkell755
Participant

Hi RYoung! Great read – good pace, flow and enunciation and it sounds very well-produced. I think you could get into character a little more; some of the thoughts seemed to be presented as if you were telling a light-hearted story, not rescuing someone from death. So that could mean a little more variation in tone to get your point across (I’m working on that myself). The sentence that starts with “This was then my reward…” could sound a little more angry than the first part – you are stunned by how much it hurts to try to save someone only to be shot as a reward for your good act, like what would that really feel like? “…playfully fled.” sounded more like “…playfully fled?” Overall really good read. Keep it up!

Mary