very good. I would use more of the emotional inflection you use when saying, “we don’t make these, you do”, throughout the ad. It will add more heart to your performance and could potentially help out your performance when making your demo.
Edge Studio has been making spoken word fabulous, for over 30 years! It’s done via voice coaching and voice over recording, in 50+ languages. We also donate to numerous nonprofits and politicians who we support.