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Hi Mary,
I think you did a good job with pitch variation, and you sounded interested in the material. When you got to the phrase, “and in most cases,” the “and” and “in,” were hard to tell apart. I know you’ve said you’re working on this kind of thing, enunciation without sounding unnatural. I wonder if it could be helpful to think of sliding the “d”from “and” into the beginning of the following word, if it begins with a vowel, like “an din.” I feel like that could be helpful, but perhaps a coach could weigh in on that.
I feel your Zellers read had good energy to it, suitable for that commercial genre. Nice Job!