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Hi all! Looking for feedback on these 2 scripts. Any and all feedback is welcome! Trying to vary my pitch without sounding too over the top. Thanks! Mary

Script 1: Real Estate Educational Explainer
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one. Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run. But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house. Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

Script 2: Zeller’s [Local commercial, fast read, high energy]
Summer’s really heating up! Get into Zellers for our biggest event under the sun. Save up to 70 percent on a great selection of men’s, kid’s and ladies’ apparel and footwear. So hurry into Zellers – because savings like these don’t last forever.

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