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#57639
BrianWigginsVOBrianWigginsVO
Participant

First: “Take a trip”…the “a” should be a short “a”, like “ah”, not a long “a” like the Canadian “eh”.

Second…it comes across overall as rather flat. There isn’t much in the way of change in inflection, and I’m not getting any emotion behind this. Try to find the important words and ways to emphasize them by changing the inflection. Try to find who this read is for, and talk to them.

Also, the second part of the first sentence really feels mashed together, like you’re rushing through it. Slow it down, let it breathe.