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LINGUINI AND BOB RESTAURANT
When dining formally, in order to avoid an embarrassing utensil faux pas, observe the following protocol: Begin by locating your seafood fork. Grasping this fork between thumb and forefinger, proceed to shove it into the ear of the person directly to your left. SFX: Yeouch!! Next, to impress business associates, stick your soup spoon up your nose and exclaim, “Look at me, I’m a bowl of soup.” When the entree arrives, use the butter spreader to catapult particularly juicy portions onto the balding heads of nearby diners. SFX: Splat! And finally, quietly finish with your dessert utensils, all the while, of course, making odd gurgling noises SFX: Gurgling! and clucking like a chicken. SFX: Clucking Chicken! This lesson in table etiquette has been brought to you by Linguini and Bob, who invite you to enjoy serious Italian food in a not-so-serious atmosphere. Linguini and Bob, now open at Butler Square in Minneapolis.