Yoshikage Kira – JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable

[This Script Comes in Two Forms]

[Original Monologue] – My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don’t smoke, but I occasionally drink. I’m in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.

I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I’m trying to explain that I’m a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn’t lose to anyone.

[Modified English variant] – You can call me Yoshikage Kira. I’m currently 33 years old. Not that you’d care, but I reside in northeast Morioh’s villa district. Also, I’ve yet to marry. In order to make a living, I work for Kame Yu department stores. After a long day’s work, I return home no later than 8 PM. I don’t like smoking, but do enjoy the occasional drink. I’m always in bed by 11 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than 8 hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of milk. It’s always coupled with 20 minutes of stretching to decompress from the long workday. Sweet dreams are the usual result of this.

I then awake as refreshed and recharged as a newborn child, ready to take on the day’s challenges. And after my last checkup, I was given a clean bill of health. For as long as I could remember, I’ve done everything in my power to live a productive life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner peace. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern myself with winning or losing, life’s troubles, or enemies who bring sleepless nights. That is how I cope with this backwards life we find ourselves living. It’s what brings me happiness in a world fraught with hardship and misery. Of course, if I were ever to engage in combat, I would win the battle without question.