9 characters: All 9 variety

1) Jack, the dog; man is waking up to his dog, Brian, who is barking at the neighbor’s dog, must use the bathroom and wants to go for a walk for exercise.
“Hey, there! Master! Senseii! Trainer! I know I sound like I’m barking up a storm, but did you see that big dog over there? He’s teasing me because I’m so tiny for a dog. I know I sound like I’m barking, but I’m trying to talk to you about something important. I need my exercise and so do you. So, let’s take a walk today. And can it be long this time? Come on, get out of bed and get your exercise!”
2) DJ Zimmer; Good morning, America, this is Al Zimmer, your host. For tonight’s show we have a mix of rock, pop, hip hop, smooth jazz, poetry, and then we’ll close it up with Hans Zimmer, live from Prague. I’ll be recording in the main aisle of the opera house and you’ll be hearing him live from the comfort of your homes. We’ll be right back after these messages… (enter messages). Welcome back to the nighttime show, I’m Al Bundy, your host and here’s what’s happening now… (enter with the news) and then we will wrap up with the concert from the beginning to the end of the concert. And here… we… go…
3) Poetry sonnets from my own work;
I wonder what the world will be like when I pass away. As I lay dying, I see a place of peace and serenity. But before I die, I want to experience greater things that will be remembered. I wish the world would just get along, we need a safe world to live in, if we don’t, I’d be very disappointed. When I read, everything comes alive. But before I pass away, I’d like to be remembered as adventurous, with heart.
4) Color blind Titan;
I’ll never forget the time that I went colorblind once. I was looking too close at the sun one day and then the colors changed. I saw my nails, fangs like tongs. I saw my shoulders, below them were arms as sharp as axes. My mind roars like the earthquake below! As a titan, I flee like a mouse, nimble an unseen. As a creature with my nature, it makes me fearless. Curse the gem I touched that day! I wish it would disappear, return my sight, and curse somebody else for once!
5) Treasure box;
Do you see this velvet box? Inside I hold a ring. I made it out of love, with my silver, my gold, and wax. It is like time; my present, my past, my future. I hope she will hold this treasure close to her heart when she receives it. If she says yes, I’ll share this treasure with her for eternity. She is the navigator, queen of the pirates, and I am the key, the map and X marks the spot. I hope she enjoys discovering this box.
6) Secret place
While X marks the spot for buried treasure, I have a place I like to go. It’s my own secret place. I lock it for privacy, to write, to work, to pray. I create things here. I see everything from Pompeii, Mount Everest, the Arabian dessert, the depth of the endless ocean. I’ve seen the worst of wars end in peace. In this secret place I can go beyond the earth and past the sun, the moon, and infinite space. And the best part is, I’m always back in time for dinner.
7) Weird friend
How much do you want to bet that my friend is weirder than yours? A dollar? A nickel? How about we stop being boys and act like gentlemen? If I’m right, you’ll give me $100. If I’m wrong, I lose 100 dollars. Here’s why my friend is weirder than yours; he ate bugs and worms off a nail for breakfast, to start. When we sing, he breaks my wind and steals my thunder. He wears a toga and runs in the neighborhood like that in public. I offered him desserrt, he said no. Said he preferred eating a can of spinach over my chocolate cake, and when I offered him a glass of beverage, he shook his head saying he’d lose his teeth. Trust me, man, my friend is weirder than yours!
8) Gambler: Card shark Al
You see this here, hmm? This is a deck of 51 cards, although I don’t play using the Joker cards. That is, unless I play a game of Old maid with the boys at my table. Personally, I prefer games like Poker, and blackjack. Sometimes I count cards, I admit it to be true. That’s how I collect my earnings at the end. I believe that’s also how The House always wins. They watch us with cameras, and they get new decks with holes in the middle. I guess that’s how they make sure you don’t cheat or reuse the same cards over again. Lucky for me, I know when to count the cards, as well as how to deal them.
9) Actor and Politician cross over: Acting 101
So, tell me, what’s the difference between a politician, and an actor? I’ll tell you right now, there isn’t. Here’s why, I’m an actor who loves to entertain and help others cheer up. I do my best to say the right things and then I get a cheer from the audience. Same thing with politicians, all they need to do is act like me; being believable, communicative with the audience, and open with what’s on their minds, even if it means writing scripts for themselves. As an actor, all I need is the right pitch, sound, and proper choices of words I say in order to get the right response I want from my audience. Politicians, they do the same thing. Not all of them, of course. But some of them, anyways. All they need is the right attitude, choice of words and they can persuade you, the American people, to see things from their point of view, and acting in their favor come the next election day.