Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 6 months, 3 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
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July 21, 2022 at 12:41 am #78409
jr.roop
ParticipantHello everyone, recording next week. Very nervous and excited! Give me all the feedback you’ve got!
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July 24, 2022 at 3:38 am #78472
Amitofu
ParticipantReally good! but slow down! haha. If nothing else, the listener has to have time to process what you say. I have the exact same problem when I’m nervous so don’t put yourself in a catch-22; kinda just remember to be proudly plodding each sentence you make with distinction.
Also there was a varying amount of mouth clicks or something, especially noticeable in the first suave ad. seemed like every other word. Once you kinda tame those things you should be good to go otherwise!
[[Disclaimer: I’m a rookie with ADHD. Sometimes I hyper-focus on something negligible and other times I make out-right ‘bad’ calls based on something I (wrongly) idealize. Also conversely, I can miss an elephant in the room. I focus on constructive criticism on the basis of improvement, so it may not be apparent how good I think a recording is; it’s not because I don’t want to gush about all the awesomeness 🙂 ]]
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July 22, 2022 at 9:23 am #78436
edixon310
ParticipantI don’t think you have anything to be nervous about. These were great reads.
The only thing I would say is to try and bring just a bit more variation to the read and remember to hit on the key words, like the company name or the call to action. Those items should always stand out in your read.
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July 20, 2022 at 5:02 pm #78402
Grace Lee
ParticipantHi All,
I’m not using pro equipment yet so any feedback on just the read would be much appreciated!
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August 11, 2022 at 1:44 am #79071
elizbrooksbell
ParticipantI like the sound of your voice a lot! One thing I would say would be to cut out some of the pauses, but other than that, great job!
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July 22, 2022 at 9:19 am #78435
Gill
ParticipantHi Grace Lee,
I really liked your read, I thought your pace and diction were good. Just be cautious of pauses they can make your read come across disconnected or choppy, I heard a few of them throughout the read. Otherwise really nice job! -
July 22, 2022 at 9:12 am #78434
edixon310
ParticipantThis is a good read with good voice quality.
I think you were trying to be technically sound in your read which took away from the conversational delivery.
Keep in mind that voiceovers are intended for people listening to you. You are there to let them know what you have to let them know. So, try to speak more like you are talking to your friends.
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July 20, 2022 at 11:33 am #78390
RGK3
ParticipantHi all:
Here are two different takes on a Duracell spot. I’d appreciate any feedback on the reads.
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July 24, 2022 at 3:29 am #78471
Amitofu
ParticipantGreat job! I’d say, the energy is great, but slow down with that same energy. I’m not sure, but some of the peaks sounded a little too punchy; some glottals I think. Keeping that energy with an even keel volume is difficult but gets easier as you practice and be aware. Also removing some gaps between clauses might be worth looking at, if I’m being nitpicky, but I liked the performance though overall though; I’d hire you.
[[Disclaimer: I’m a rookie with ADHD. Sometimes I hyper-focus on something negligible and other times I make out-right ‘bad’ calls based on something I (wrongly) idealize. Also conversely, I can miss an elephant in the room. I focus on constructive criticism on the basis of improvement, so it may not be apparent how good I think a recording is; it’s not because I don’t want to gush about all the awesomeness 🙂 ]]
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July 20, 2022 at 2:22 am #78382
Unity
ParticipantHi there. As a novice I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks for your time in advance.
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July 29, 2022 at 1:56 am #78625
Unity
ParticipantAmitofu and RKG3 thanks so much for taking the time to comment. Your observations/feedback is most appreciated.
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July 24, 2022 at 3:18 am #78470
Amitofu
ParticipantI won’t elaborate on the technical side since you seem to be using practice equipment like a phone.
Briefly, I’d say definitely slow down and connect to the words you say. Each word needs an impact of it’s own to collective make each sentence contagiously interesting. In particular, the “AFTCA”* acronym seems to be the biggest script hurdle to sound natural. It’s not easy, haha
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July 22, 2022 at 8:06 am #78433
RGK3
ParticipantHi,
Nice work. I think what would help your reads a bit is thinking about who you’re talking to and why you’re telling them these stories. That might help you keep them more conversational and help you create natural variations througout the reads to highlight different points.
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July 19, 2022 at 8:32 pm #78375
forceonature
ParticipantHi Friends!
I’m really working on connecting with my listener and knowing my why if that makes sense haha. Feedback greatly appreciated 🙂
The script:
Learn Something New Today! Over 50,000 People Have Learned Crochet With The Woobles And You Could Be Next! Learn how to crochet with our beginner amigurumi crochet kits. They come with more than just materials – think step-by-step videos, easy-to-follow patterns, and a pre-started piece so you can jump right into your first crochet project!-
This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
forceonature.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
forceonature.
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July 24, 2022 at 3:09 am #78469
Amitofu
ParticipantReally awesome work! I really felt the connection to the audience.
Two technical notes (if you were looking for them)
1) low key hum in the background. Not horrible but just to be aware of.
2) at :20 (“Prestarted PIECE”) there wasn’t really a plosive but you could barely hear a vibration feedback on your mic (maybe a boom arm?). Idk if a shockmount would fix it or just treating your environment. A person would have to be looking for it to hear it, but best foot forward, ehSubjectively, I would try the opener two different tones and see which you like better: TRY something new today! (imperative) vs Try something NEW today! (wonderment)
Other than that I thought all the ‘hits’ were stellar.
[[Disclaimer: I’m a rookie with ADHD. Sometimes I hyper-focus on something negligible and other times I make out-right ‘bad’ calls based on something I (wrongly) idealize. Also conversely, I can miss an elephant in the room. I focus on constructive criticism on the basis of improvement, so it may not be apparent how good I think a recording is; it’s not because I don’t want to gush about all the awesomeness 🙂 ]]
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July 20, 2022 at 11:36 am #78393
RGK3
ParticipantHi,
You have a great voice and vocal quality for this spot! The read is very friendly and warm. I wonder whether there are opportunities to vary the energy and bring in some of the excitement at the opportunity to learn a new skill and have it be so easy.
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July 19, 2022 at 5:46 pm #78368
Gracie Parker
ParticipantHello everybody! Ignore my post with the unplayable files, they were too large for the forum! I fixed them so they should be good this time. I am looking for feedback on rhythm, pacing, and intonation. I have received feedback that my sentences fall off basically to vocal fry at the endings. (It is true and I’ve been struggling to fix it.) Does my intonation sound better here? Thanks everybody! <3
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July 24, 2022 at 2:55 am #78468
Amitofu
ParticipantGreat job overall! I can definitely list a much greater amount of things you did right than wrong.
However, For improvement’s sake, here’s what I noticed in a critical light:
I haven’t heard your previous work, but it does sound like you’re still grabbing the reins of enunciating with fluidity (which is difficult ofc, but pros make it look easy 😛 (I’m not one of them)). Sounds like you can nail it with a bit more practice; ideally we try make it sound like you are saying the words without thinking (while still being articulate). As the other person mentioned you do seem to run out of breath, so they become very noticably fading-out words. Also, subjectively, I feel like you’re reading too fast and that’s part of why you run out of breath toward the end of a couple of phrases (I have the same problem often). Don’t be afraid of slowing down and letting each word ‘sink in’ a bit (which will also help fluidity and articulation) as well as add a little emotional content (to be a little dramatic, haha).I don’t know if you wanted technical feedback but briefly, I noticed some mouth sounds and smacks. You did a great job avoiding plosives for the most part. There is a very very light hiss in the background.
Again, overall good stuff.
[[Disclaimer: I’m a rookie with ADHD. Sometimes I hyper-focus on something negligible and other times I make out-right ‘bad’ calls based on something I (wrongly) idealize. Also conversely, I can miss an elephant in the room. I focus on constructive criticism on the basis of improvement, so it may not be apparent how good I think a recording is; it’s not because I don’t want to gush about all the awesomeness 🙂 ]]
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July 19, 2022 at 9:00 pm #78379
forceonature
ParticipantHi Gracie!
You have a great voice for this read 🙂 I thought your pacing was really good on both reads! One thing that really helped me with intonation and rhythm was picking what word in the sentence was most important to me. So for example: in the first sentence of the Annie E Casey Foundation read I would say, for me, “every” is the most important word (it could be different for you) “EVERY child deserves to grow up with…”. Putting emphasis on the important word that we chose can help both with rhythm and with intonation for me because it gives me kind of a target to hit if that makes sense? You don’t have to go crazy with it though! For example you do this REALLY well in the next sentence when you say “HIS skills HER talents….”
I think the vocal fry issue might be coming from running out of breath? At 23 seconds you say “poor neighborhoods” and run out of breath before finishing with “where the chance to thrive….”. I had this issue too! What I did to fix this is I made sure to take a good quality breath from my diaphragm where my natural pauses would be. This even helped with my pacing because it sort of forced me to slow down a little bit.
Keep up the great work!!! You have a great voice and I’m so excited to see what you do!
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July 19, 2022 at 5:43 pm #78367
Gracie Parker
ParticipantHello everybody! I am looking for feedback on rhythm, pacing, and intonation. I have received feedback that my sentences fall off basically to vocal fry at the endings. (It is true and I’ve been struggling to fix it.) Does my intonation sound better here? Thanks everybody! <3
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July 19, 2022 at 4:23 pm #78363
johntells114
ParticipantHello guys. I would appreciate anyone who gave feedback on my acting/performance. This is a part of horror narration I did.
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johntells114.
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July 19, 2022 at 3:53 pm #78356
Gill
Participant-
July 20, 2022 at 4:54 pm #78401
Grace Lee
ParticipantYour approaches to the Zoloft and Children’s Advil scripts were very appropriate for the content making them relatable to the listener who would be a potential consumer. If anything, maybe say “fast” faster in the Advil one. lol. For the Autozone one, I could feel you smiling in your voice which was nice and engaging. Really great work!
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July 19, 2022 at 5:05 pm #78366
edixon310
ParticipantThese are all very nice reads. The quality of your voice lends itself very well to the Zoloft and Advil reads.
My only caution would be to try and vary your reads ( the pitch pace and tenor). All three sound very similar.
And put emphasis behind the “call to action.”
i.e. “It’s time to talk to your doctor”, or “better than Tylenol.”
But great job!
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July 18, 2022 at 7:32 pm #78340
gikegami
ParticipantHere are two commercials. Any feedback on aspects such as pacing or pronunciation would be very much appreciated.
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July 19, 2022 at 3:18 pm #78353
RGK3
ParticipantHi,
The overall pace on the Purina one is good, but it feels a little measured in a way that prevents the read from sounding conversational. Pronunciation sounds good to me.
For Pizza Hut, the pronunciation of mozzarella doesn’t sound entirely natural to my ear. Most people don’t emphasize the “z” and start it out like “mot.” The pacing starts off strong, but I think it slows down and your pauses get a bit long toward the end.
Nice job overall.
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