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#69859
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I think you do a fantastic job of sounding natural and approachable, you definitely sound like you’re connecting to your reader. My piece of feedback would be that especially in first half the pitch and cadence of you sentences all sound very similar, starting high and ending low, pretty much on the same pitch. When you ask all those questions with the same pitch it can be hard to really take in how those questions are different. So you? Your family? etc.? see if you can find specificity for each one.