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First off, I think that your tone is great for this read. I rather enjoy the style, and I think that this recording only suffers in the quality and pacing. It’s a little difficult to listen to, it seems like there might be some reverb, or echo, or something that’s distorting your voice and detracts from what you’re saying. I would slow down just a little bit. Let some ideas saturate, leave your listener some room to breathe and think about these ideas that you’re putting forward for them.
Great core sound, I look forward to hearing more from you!