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#59009
kfvoicekfvoice
Participant

Hi Burdahgirl!

Great job! Pace, tone, pitch were spot on!

I liked how you added micro-pauses in the line: Easily share your campaign in person via social media or e-mail so your friends and family can help you reach your funding goal no matter where they live. Otherwise, it would be a run-on sentence.

Your last line was louder, however, I think that may have been your intention to billboard and create a tag line? It works, but just a little too loud compared to the rest of the copy.

Kathy